A married couple had just crawled into bed one night when the phone started to ring. The man got up to answer it. “How the hell should I know? That’s a thousand miles away!” he exclaimed before slamming down the receiver. “Who was that?” asked his puzzled wife. “I don’t have any idea,” said the husband. “Some guy wanted to know if the coast is clear.” Later, the phone bill was exceptionally high, so the man called a family meeting. Dad said he never used the home phone because he used his work phone. Mum said she also used her company’s phone. Their son explained that he only used his office mobile. They all turned to the maid, who calmly replied, “What? So we all use our work phones. What’s the big deal?”

At dawn, the telephone rang. “Hello, Señor? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.” Ernesto sadly informed his employer that his prize-winning parrot had died. When asked how, he explained that the bird had eaten rotten meat from one of the dead horses. The horse, Mr. Lucky, had died from pulling the water cart used to put out a fire. The fire had started when a candle tipped over during a funeral because the owner’s wife had been mistaken for a thief and struck with a new Tiger Woods Nike driver. After hearing the entire chain of events, the owner paused and finally shouted, “Ernesto! If you broke that driver, YOU’RE FIRED!”

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered she had no credit. She asked her son to call his father and deliver an urgent message. After trying three times, the boy returned and said that a lady had answered the phone each time. Furious, the woman waited for her husband to come home. As soon as he walked through the door, she slapped him twice. The neighbors rushed over after hearing the commotion.

The husband, completely confused, asked his son to tell everyone exactly what the “lady” had said on the phone. The boy replied, “The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later!”