It was this little girl’s first day at a new schoolIt was this little girl’s first day at a new school, and the teacher asked her what her name was.
She replied, “Happy Butt.” The teacher said, “Honey I don’t think that’s your name. You need to go to the principal’s office and get this straightened out.” So she went to the principal’s office and he asked, “What’s your name?” And the little girl said, “Happy Butt.The principal called the girl’s mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone, he looked at the little girl and said, “Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt.” Grinning from ear to ear, the girl then exclaimed, “Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what’s the difference?!”

One day in a language school in Australia.
Teacher: “All right, now I`d like you to make a sentence using the words GREEN, PINK and YELLOW. Who`d like to try?”
A student raised his hand. It was Kukoya from Japan.

Kukoya: “Early this morning, I looked out the window, I saw the GREEN grass and PINK roses in the garden. I went outside and I feel the warm YELLOW sunlight around me.”

Teacher: “Not bad. Okay, who`s next?”
Another student raised his hand. It was Weng from Singapore.
Weng:“I try! I try. Can aaah?”

Teacher “No, no, not you”
Weng: “Aaaiiyaaa… let me try lah… I can do lah… you think I`m stupid meeeh..?”
Teacher: “Okay.. go ahead”
Weng: “This morning I heard the phone GREEEEEN…GREEEEEN… I PINK it up and I said YELLOOOOW?”

My daughter hates school.
One weekend, she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.
Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.
At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put daddy in jail.”
She looked at me, thought for a moment, then asked, “How long would you have to stay?”