My boyfriend Nick and I have been together for almost four years, and I always thought I had a great relationship with his family. Every summer, they take a family trip, and when I asked his mom if I could join this year and pay my own way, she refused, saying I wasn’t family yet. Nick defended her, explaining that no partners were invited, so I dropped the issue. Months later, when his family visited, I made my famous family chili recipe, which everyone loved. Before leaving, Nick’s mom asked me to share the recipe for her work potluck. I politely refused, explaining that it was a secret family recipe. She asked, “Aren’t we family?” I replied, “According to you, we aren’t.” She left without another word, but Nick later accused me of being cruel and petty. I reminded him that his mother couldn’t exclude me from family activities because I wasn’t family, then expect me to share something special from my own family. He insisted it was a completely different situation and has been acting cold toward me ever since. Now I’m wondering: Was I wrong for giving his mom a taste of her own medicine, or was she being a hypocrite by deciding when I counted as family?